So there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that I’m a writer. The bad news is that I’m a writer with a long and storied history of procrastination and complacency. If you’re a writer too, you most likely feel me somewhere on a scale from FUCKITI’MDONE-to-WOOHOOIGOTPUBLISEHD! If you’re not, fuck it, read my blog anyway.
I currently have one story (Midtown Funk) in a contest over at sixfold.org that will hopefully land in the top fifteen because it’s awesome and c’mon, I’ve read some of the other also-rans and yeah, my story is way better than that. And I’ve got about 80,000 words mired in a bog of soul-sucking revision that makes me want to scream and break things.
But alas life is tough, I hate cooking because I hate cleaning so I spend way too much going out to eat, and apparently money is a thing. So I have two jobs. That’s bogged me down quite a bit as well. But I’m sticking with it, writing where I can, and I figured WordPress would be a decent way to let anyone that gives a shit what’s going on the Chris’ Magical Mythical World of Trying to Get Published and Not Have to Punch a Clock Anymore. Coincidentally, that was going to be the name of this blog, but it seemed a tad too long. So I went with I Write Dumb Shit. Welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay.
As a welcoming gift, I’m going to share with you a story that I wrote that actually did pretty well over at sixfold.org even though the main character is a misogynistic douche bag and at least half of all writers are women that hate misogynistic douche bags. This piece earned such comments as:
“I appreciate the conversational tone of the narrative. Humor is difficult particularly in the first person and you managed to pull it off quite well. I enjoyed the way you created empathy for your reprobate character by using the blind old dog, Buttface…I did want to bump you up a couple of extra points to make up for what the women will do when they shred the story and slam you but that wouldn’t have been fair, would it? Thank you for sharing this enjoyable romp. I hope to see more from you.”
“Sorry, couldn’t finish this. The world does not need any more sexist, objectifying stories narrated by entitled men who swear way too fucking much, not even if the demeaning of women (or the swearing) is “for a purpose.” Swearing for a purpose requires less of it.”
“Really captured the inner voice of the slacker/self-absorbed/substance abusing/asshole. Perfectly though. This is a person I’ve met before half a dozen times, and I think your story is a perfect facsimile of what’s going on in their usually pretty drug/drink addled minds…The prose is really clean and intelligent, the characters are believable and fluid, and the action is engaging… Just- more.
“I’m gonna feedback this like a short story because this is a short story competition. The style kept me going. Loose, fast, full of character and attitude, whether you like the narrator or loathe him at least it keeps you going to the end”
So that’s pretty much it for my first post. Read the next one of you want to check out an excerpt from the story that the above string of comments is about.