New Project Prologue

stew

 

Inspiration came to me today. A fantasy novel from the perspective of three people who, if they lived in the real world, would be real candidates for “still living in mom’s basement”. Thoughts?

Prologue

The sun lingered on the horizon, sending the last rays of the day through the kitchen window of the Cask and Cod. Soon the tavern would shed its silence and embrace the bustle and laughter befitting a rowdy tavern during a late supper rush. Before the great cast iron cooking pot of long simmering stew stood a man, a woman and a moron. In truth all three were fools, but they were fools of three different types.

The first of these belonged to Q’urt and the way, mid conversation, he’d simply stop listening while nodding in automatic agreement. It was in the way he could dazzle you with obscure facts on a wide swathe of subjects while remaining oblivious to the obvious. And it was in his frequent stares into the middle distance examining – nothing.

The second stupidity belonged to Baub and her penchant for conjuring terrible ideas. It was in the way she chewed her food slack jawed, and the moist smacking sound her mouth made as she shoveled food into her face. And it was in her laugh, like a braying ass, loud and ornery. You could count for her all the ways her schemes were doomed, and when confronted with the facts she’d simply say fuck it.

The last of these belonged to Fhil, the greatest thick-wit of the three. It was in the way he’d keep talking long past Q’urt’s listening and how he thought every fickle notion of Baub’s was brilliant. It was in the way he’d subordinate himself to them and their constant needling and ridicule. You could listen for an hour and you might catch the knock of shallow thoughts bouncing around inside his skull, one at a time.

Combined, their jackassery stunned the owner of the Cask and Cod into a horrified, pre-rage silence as they seasoned the stew with their spit and snot and in Fhil’s case, piss.

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12 thoughts on “New Project Prologue

    1. No no. It’s a bit of a parody of the fantasy genre. I mean really, nobody in the history of the world has ever actually been named Kvothe, or Gandalf, or Frodo. But fantasy names are often spelled unconventionally.

      But yeah, Q’urt is Kurt
      Baub is Bob, not Barb.
      Fhil is Phil.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I bet some poor sods have been named after LotR characters. Sometimes it happens on a subconscious level: a mate once told me that his pretentious wealthy arty relatives had a couple of kids and after they named the 2nd (girl) they made a presumption that the parents just didn’t get. How on stupid do you have to be to wonder why everyone finds it funny that you called your kids Luke & Leia?

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I just discovered your brilliance over at Critique Circle and I just had to read more of your writing. You are very good. Very good. Your prose just makes me want to keep reading and reading. I don’t think you’ll be collecting rejection slips for long. Seriously. Keep at it, man. When the breakthrough comes, whatever you are selling I’ll be buying. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, checking in again. It’s awesome that your words are rocking the readers at CC. Dude, you definitely hit a nice vein of gold with that blog. Nicely done. My comment for this particular blog…is there a slick way to clue the reader in that you’re poking fun of the other novel? I would not have been able to make that connection without reading your comments on CC.

    Again, great writing and I’m damn proud to be one of the first to praise your piece right here on Iwritedumbshit!

    P.S. I’ve got another big bit-o-news on my end, but I’m waiting for the reality of it to post on the publishers blog. You’re gonna be impressed.

    David

    Like

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